also somewhere between August and Sept. I gained 10 pounds and have not been able to see even a pound of it come off.

i explored supplements. a lot of them. it was like all the compulsiveness that used to be poured into food was transferred to trying new herbal remedies. i tried oregano oil because i read (in a medical journal) that it exponentially increased the efficacy of nystatin, grapefruit seed extract and neem because i read that yeast can become resistant to anti-fungals and that you need to change up the treatments, chaparral tea (also an anti-fungal), and apple pectin powder and psyllium husks to “move toxins out of my intestines.” i knew i was losing my mind, grasping at straws, taking risks with herbs i feared could interact in countless unknown ways, but with every new supplement i figured maybe i was one step closer to getting better.

one thing that i learned in all my digging was that i needed to be on a strong probiotic and that i should have been taking them all along in order to put the “good” bacteria back in my gut. this was a key process that my initial doctor and all the subsequent medical practitioners failed to mention. so i bought some primal defense powder with 1b live cultures, mixed that in some yogurt and figured i was on my way … but i knew i needed guidance and i knew it was time to get someone with some know-how to help me out.

in the middle of november i saw an integrative medical fellow at Beth Israel and an acupuncturist at the Continuum Center for Health and Healing. i was placed on a new program and put a probiotic that makes the primal defense look like a pussy. i’m on a very restricted diet (shocker), an antifungal called Candex (2 pills on empty stomach at beginning and end of the day), a strong vitamin-D supplement and take the crazy powerful probiotic called VSL#3 with meals 3x/day. i’ve been on the program for 12 days now and am proud to say i haven’t had even a smidgen of a taste of something i shouldn’t. this is a feat considering thanksgiving was on my day 5.

i’d like to say that i feel super duper, that my face is clearing up or even that i’m losing some of that 10 pounds i picked up. nope. nothing has gotten worse, but nothing has gotten better. some days are fer sure better than others, but overall … i’m a little pissed at the lack of overwhelming amazing results i was hoping for. still, i’m sticking to it.

i’m eating a ton of food, so maybe the weight would come off with some portion control, but forgive me for wondering how my body could possible not shed any weight when all i am giving it is vegetables and protein. no dairy, no grains of any kind (except rice cakes), no fruit (except sugar free apple sauce), no refined sugar or sweeteners. ok, ok, i have been eating like 5 rice cakes a day and yes, i have a portion of starchy veggie (yam, squash, sweet potato) with 2 meals out of 3, but COME ON! anyway, it’s not about the weight, but it does make mer nervous about where my metabolism must be right now. what will happen when i start eating grains and sugar again?

i have also started jogging and that’s been … grand.

in other dietary news, i am craving cheese, yogurt, corn flakes, chocolate, and raisin oatmeal cookies. i want wine with dinner. i want pineapple. i am also looking forward to cream in my coffee., but am trying not to dwell on these things.

i will type out my new program in a bit and post it up for those of you who want to give it a try. it’s billed as the “gut reboot program.” also, my Dr. recommended that i stop researching my issue and get out of my head a bit with some cooking classes and maybe some reiki. we shall see …

healthy people with a balanced gut have cravings that help their bodies meet fundamental needs. what an amazing mechanism! their bodies crave mangoes for vitamin D, dairy products for calcium, yams for vitamins B and C. this is what i’m trying to restore in my own system. life will be so much easier when i can simply listen to my body and know what nutrients i need to keep running smoothly and thinking clearly and being awesome. right now all mangoes, dairy products and yams are to my body is a means to get high. so i am constantly second guessing my body’s cravings because the mechanism has been co-opted by the yeast-beast.

i have the rantings of a sugar-withdrawing crackhead in my head screaming nonsense about twinkies and swedish fish. it’s tiresome.

i decided to resume the diet as best i could about 7 days ago and am beginning to get into the swing of it. i am eating nuts, almond butter and drinking coffee. more updates to come. for now, i am just beginning to get past the first die-off reaction so at least i know it’s working. o and i had a bout of food poisoning which also is making all things digestive very interesting to say the least.

it also involved going on steroids to address a series of migraines i’ve been having that are becoming increasingly problematic.so i spent a week kind of eating what i wanted while putting on like 10 pounds of steroid weight and follwing the dr.’s instructions to not be sugar-free. i did not come out looking like this.

howeves, i did feel absolutely awful by the end of the 7 day prescription. so i spoke with the dr. who has been helping me with my digestion and he recommended a juice fast for 3 days. when i balked at the prospect of buying a juicer and/or spending tons of monies and being dependent on health food stores he said i could try the master cleanse.

i shall heretoforward refer to him as dr. idiotpants.

for 3 days (most people do this for 10 days, some for up to 40) i drank the following concoction:

• lemon juice
• molasses (low-sugar alternative to maple syrup and much cheaper than the grade B syrup the diet calls for)
• cayenne pepper

o. my. i did salt water flushes each day and drank make-u-poo tea. definition of not fun = master cleanse diet.

on saturday i was done, but i was a mess all day. i had steamed veggies and some plain toasted pita and kefir. we ate dinner out and about and that was a bit rough. my stomach was doing a rumble somersault move for pretty much the whole evening. since then, i’ve been eating whatever i want really, but trying to listen to my body. this means that i’ve been cooking up veggies and voluntarily choosing healthier options to my food cravings when i can. i’m eating some fruit (omg the apple with peanut butter that i had the other day was the best thing ever) and some whole wheat bread. i can still tolerate onion and as long as that keeps being ok, i am going to just try to eat well and focus on writing. the body ecology/anti-candida diet requires time and energy i simply don’t have right now.

in the meantime, i am also trying my hand at a number of pilates routines. i kind of love it. and i kind of love mr. pilates himself:

well, i do feel that i have more energy and i wanted to stretch out with some yoga. zis was different.

i spent some time on a cure zone forum last night reading up on what others have gone through and i found 2 separate issues very interesting. there’s a good deal of talk about probiotics and recolonizing the gut with “good bacteria”. also, there are quite a few posts on leaky gut and healing the lining of the intestine. so, it appears that you can do all this work to clear your system out and get rid of the beasties, but ultimately you have to heal your gut so that you can maintain a healthy flora for a stable digestive environment.

acidophilus is the popular kid in the probiotic class. but there are others and they are important. which is why just taking acidophillus isn’t always enough. the books i am reading highly recommend yogurt and/or kefir. this is a controversial issue since both are dairy and feed the beaties. my candida guidebook says yes to plain low-fat yogurt, but no to kefir. my Body Ecology Diet guidebook is all of kefir like a fruit fly on a bruised peach. i’m gonna try the kefir. i also bought a new vitamin with like 16 million probiotics per pill and it doesn’t play favorites to acidophillus. i also intend to get a powdered supplement called inulin. ze coop was out today. boo. i will also begin to consume sauerkraut and kimchi as oft as possible.

for the lining of the gut, the consensus is l-glutamine. so i’m gonna be talking that too. i am taking a lot of things. i am not allowed to eat a lot of things. i really really want to get better and figure out how to never ever ever be ill like this again.

anyhooooo

breakfast – juice of 1/2 lemon, 1 tbsp colostrum in water followed by a glass of water

second breakfast – steel cut oats -not rolled- soaked for 3 hours. (note: my family calls oatmeal mush, so heretoforward oatmeal for breakfast = mush.) my body was psyched. my   were like, “where’s the raisins? the honey? the delicious?” in a sad attempt to find the sweet, i mixed in some yum dip. this was a bad call.

according to the candida guidebook, i’m allowed to have mush 2x per week. howeves, the body ecology diet says no oats. the only grains the body ecology diet recommends are quinoa, millet, amaranth and buckwheat. i happened to find quinoa flakes for breakfast cereal at the coop and am looking forward to trying it out.

in order to have some veggies to combine with the grain, i had some steamed some green beans with sesame oil.

lunch: i had the cruddy potter’s pie, which actually kind of hurt my belly. i think i’m overdoing the tomato a bit.

second lunch – broccoli fennel soup and 1 cup kefir

dinner: steamed carrots, asparagus, and zucchini with sea kelp, pumpkin seed oil and sauerkraut. this was not a culinary delight, but i needed sustenance and i needed it fast.

second dinner: confetti saute – purple cabbage, broccoli, asparagus, yellow summer squash, carrot with onion, basil and garlic.

dessert – spoonful of yum dip – this will not be present for much longer as the body ecology diet does not allow starch veggies like yams. this is the total suck.

second breakfast – yogurt with lime

lunch – mediteranean stew over brown rice

second lunch – broccoli fennel soup

dinner – confetti saute

notes: legs felt heavy. doing pilates was rough. didn’t have to spend time cooking = major bonus awesome.

place ingredient in order listed into flour sifter and sift 4-5 times. place in dry glass jar with metal lid and store in dry cook cupboard. use within 2 months.

• 2-3 cups of chopped fresh or frozen berries (no mixing, one kind of berry only – i have no idea why)
• 2-3 tsp fresh lemon, lime, or white grapefruit juice

chop berries or puree them in food processor. heat in saucepan on med-high to boil. turn heat to low and simmer for 4-6 mins until cooked and hot thru-and-thru. keeps 1-3 days in the fridge. can be frozen.

• 2.5 tbs simmered apple juice
• 3 large beaten eggs
• 2/3 cup water
• 1 tbs natural oil (i used safflower)

dry ingredients

• 1.5 cup amaranth or teff flour
• 1/4 cup tapioca powder (or instant soy milk powder)
• 1/4 cup  arrowroot powder (i substituted tapioca flour since i couldn’t find arrowroot)
• 1 tsp homemade baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon

simmer juice for 2-3 minutes and quick chill in freezer (no clue why). mix wet ingredients together in 1 bowl and dry ingredients together in another.

oil frying pan. use paper towel to wipe off excess oil and keep oily paper towel to reoil pan between pancake cookings (thank you mr. awesomepants). add dry ingredients to wet. fold together then mix vigorously (again, thanks to mr. awesomepants). add water or arrowroot powder if mixture is too thick or thin.

make small pancakes immediately (no clue why). keeps for 2-4 days in the fridge. can be frozen.

picture to come.

heat oil in large pot on high. saute onion and garlic for 2 mins. add chopped tomatoes and reduce heat to low. cook covered for 15-20 minutes til tomatoes are liquidized. add remaining ingredients and simmer for 40-60 minutes covered while stirring occasionally. salt to taste. can be thinned out with water if needed.  remove bay leaves when done.